What If We Were Wrong?
"Ignore them, they are just trying to get attention." Ever heard that one? Ever said that one? I sure have. I said it often as an Educator, and I've even said it as a parent. Though it makes me cringe now, there was a time when I believed that constantly [...]
A Little Thankfulness Goes a Long Way
"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." Willie Nelson Gratitude is so important. Not only does it help us to appreciate what we have and be thankful when times are good, it is a perspective shifter when life gets hard. Spending our days looking for ways [...]
Spidey Senses to the Rescue!
Spiderman is pretty great. Not only can he scale buildings, sling webs, and catch the bad guys, he can use his "Spidey Senses". He is able to use his heightened senses to become attuned to his environment and sense the needs of those around him . Our kids can become [...]
Breathing Exercises to Calm Little Minds
"You need to just calm down" Probably one of the worst things that can be said to someone that is feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Not only is it not helpful, it can cause even more stress and anxiety. When we are anxious, our bodies go into fight or flight mode. [...]
Just to be Safe, Let’s Assume the Worst.
The statistics are staggering. 67% of the population has had at least 1 traumatic event in their lifetime. Of that 67%, 16% have had at least 4 traumatic experiences in their life which is considered complex trauma. 67%. Let that sink in. If you were in a movie theater, it [...]
How’s Your Engine Running?
One of the most frequently asked questions during our trauma informed trainings for Educators is, "How do I help my student when they are________ ( fidgety, antsy, disinterested, disengaged, anxious, etc.) so they can actually learn what I am trying to teach them?" The answer is simple- Regulation! It is [...]
The Very Real Primal Wound
Over a decade ago, my husband and I were preparing to enter into the world of foster care and adoption. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, we knew very little of what to expect, but we were excited and hopeful. To say we were eager is quite an understatement. We took [...]
Getting “too” Attached
"If it doesn't hurt when they leave, then you're doing it wrong." Well, if that's true, then I guess you could say all of us at Bithiah's are doing it right. Each time a little one leaves, we hurt, but this time, it HURT. We tried to find positives in [...]
It’s beginning to look a lot like…..trauma?
The holidays (especially at Bithiah's) are a time of celebration, gifts, surprises, and special memories. Until it isn't. For many children, the holidays can be a time of stress, triggers, and overall sadness. Bithiah's is no exception. Trauma does not discriminate and it certainly doesn't take a break for the [...]
Connection, Connection, Connection
If there is one word that is repeated over and over at Bithiah's House, it's Connection. Everything we do is centered around Connection. We connect with the kids while eating breakfast, we connect during car rides, we even connect before correcting their behavior. I would venture to say that Connection [...]
Time Marches On
A year and a half. 14 little loves. Countless diaper changes, endless giggles, dance parties, movie nights, Disneyland trips, Birthdays celebrated, goodbyes said, tears shed, appointments upon appointments and visits. So many visits. Parent visits, sibling visits, Social Worker visits, Therapist visits, Nurse visits, and even Santa came to visit. [...]
Our first little love left Bithiah's a couple of weeks ago. She went to a new (maybe forever) family. It was good. It was so sad. Many tears were shed as our staff said their goodbyes. Her things were packed, her scrapbook finished, her new mommy got all the information [...]
"She's ready to be picked up." Words that I've heard a hundred times. As a foster parent of almost nine years, this phrase is nothing new to me. It's what we do. There's a call, there's a need, we can fill it, we pick them up. However, this [...]
Light at the End of the World’s Longest Tunnel
Ok that title might be a tad dramatic. In the scheme of things, 18 months is not terribly long. In fact, it's pretty fast considering all that was accomplished. A nonprofit started, a house found and furnished, a staff of 20 hired and trained, a program established, support gained from [...]
Hurry up and Wait
"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for"-Charles Stanley-For the last year and a half, Keith and I have been in a state of rush. We rushed to launch our non profit. We moved as fast as we could to fundraise. We worked [...]
A letter to my Daughter
My sweet girl,You celebrated your second birthday last month. And in a couple of weeks, we will celebrate two years of having you in our home. This is HUGE. This is extremely emotional. This is a post I NEVER thought I'd be able to write. You see, you were only [...]
I guess 8 months is enough time for an update…
To say blogging has been a struggle lately would be a gross understatement. It's not that there hasn't been anything to blog about, because there certainly is- it's that life is happening so quickly, and time seems to be slipping away.Let's do a quick recap of the last 8 months....1. [...]
A Word from the Bios
Our biological children are 6 and 8. They were 2 and 4 when we got our first placement (who we would later go on to adopt). I would be lying if I said I was never worried about how our decision to do foster care or adopt would affect them. [...]
An open letter to the Donut Store Lady
Dear Donut Store Lady,I love your donuts. They are as close to perfect as can be. Your fast service, crushed ice, and vintage video game machines are the reason we come back week after week. It's because of you that we have deemed Friday, "Friday Funday" in our house. We [...]
A Devastating Diagnosis
We've had our foster daughter for a year. From the first day we met her, we've been in love. She is the sweetest baby with the most easy going personality. At her first doctor's appointment, something was noticed. A very scary diagnosis was mentioned. Other appointments were made. Specialists were [...]
While I’m Waiting
Foster care sometimes feels like endless waiting. Waiting for a call back from the Social Worker. Waiting for the next court hearing. Waiting for birth parent's confirmation on a visitation. Waiting, waiting, waiting. The child's case seems to move at a snail's pace with little sense of urgency. These children [...]