This past weekend we launched our nonprofit. Surrounded by close friends and family, we shared our hearts and  vision for the shelter.  We’ve been taking some pretty big steps towards opening its doors for the past six months however this past weekend has made it frighteningly real. While we are so excited to make this dream a reality, the fear is almost crippling at times. What if we don’t raise enough money? What if we don’t find a house to hold the babies? What if the state of California doesn’t approve of our group home?  So many what if’s.

This process is reminding me a lot of our foster care journey. Compelled to help, yet almost paralyzed with fear.   We have had our foster daughter for almost a year now and if I let my mind wander to the unknown about her future, I am almost crippled with fear.   So instead of letting the fear take over, I just keep on loving her and taking small baby steps to fight for her and keep her safe. It’s the same with the shelter,  instead of focusing on all that could go wrong with it, we are taking small baby steps towards opening the doors.   Every time my brain wants to wander into the fear of the unknown, instead I will think of the sweet babies sitting in their car seats in office buildings all over LA County just waiting to find a foster home.   They deserve to be loved and held during those scary moments.  If I just curl up in a ball on the floor,  not helping for fear of failure, I am doing a great injustice to those little babies.  The same goes for my foster daughter. I will fight for her until there is no fight left. My fear for her will not overshadow my fight for her.

 So yes, we are shaking in our boots. That’s not going to stop us. As long as our feet keep moving towards our goal, the fear can nag at us all it wants.